Emotional
Over emotional
Super emotional
Super over emotional
This
This emotional chokehold
Just
Makes me gasp for air
The air that already is barely there
I wish I could allow myself to truly not fight
Not fight to just trust
To trust someone new
But
Even now
I just end up like this
I want to allow myself to dare
To dare to love again
To not have to think that I am not allowed to
I don't know why I end up feeling that I am not supposed to get attached?
It is something I have been told I guess
A lot of times been hushed
Asked to just stop
Stop just stop
Overthinking feeling
But I know I need to have to be able to feel
I need that that person lets me feel that it is okay
Okay to be scared shitless
And to get something as a overexplained clarification
Of whether they will be here for me
Here for me and fight for me
Make me feel even more
But not this
Not heartache and insecurity
But love
Trust
To know
They are worthy of me
They need to make me truly understand it then
That it's okay
To be this way
I am so confused
I just can't stand falling head over heels
If the other one won't be there
Or also is
Falling
For me.
So..
I dunno what to do
And it sucks
It just shouldn't
But it is for some reason so hard
To allow myself to express myself
In the fear of rejection
And yet I have
And I have seen that heart
That broken one
Under all that
confusion that you have also
I can't and don't want to I don't have to fix you
I just want to be wanted then
For you to fight to keep me
This is that part
This is the part
Where you could if you would
Where you should if you could
Where you would
If you want to
Show me that I can
Allow myself
To feel
This or that
That you won't not care
But that you would see
See me
To feel
My heart
The way
I do
As it has been choosing you
For whatever reason
That I can't explain
Or express
I just know
That it is happening
And that it is scaring the shit out of me
To not be allowed to
Or that it is pointless
Because it is never going to be
Mutual
As I have that doubt
Within
I just
Need you to convince me then
Even if I have been asked:
Why should anyone give you a reason to stay?
You should know if you want to or not.
But I just don't think
A starved and dying heart can just convince it self
When in doubt
It needs something from that person
That might break it again
Would you give me a reason, or should I break my heart in advance and leave and walk away now?
Because I don't know what to do
How to stop
Even though it does not make sense at all
Maybe my heart just see something my mind try to outreason?
I don't know
But I don't usually cry over someone this way
That one is for sure
You might not think I am special
And that's because whatever reason that is
I don't know
But I wish I would be that
For you
In your eyes
Maybe I am not
But still
Somehow you have made me this way
I just
Don't want to feel stupid nor hide
Not anymore
So
Now what?
Miip. Stop being mean. And annoyed when someone tries to get to know you. Baka.
And if you don't want anything to do with me say it then! So I can stop feeling this way
Because it is really hard to read you if I don't know you or can get to know you without getting confused.
I am questioning whether to trust my heart on this, with what that sees in you and what you make it feel or
To listen to that voice that I don't even know
To just walk away
How?
How do I do that part?
When it hurts this much?
When it is the total opposite of what I want?
And yeah. You are maybe very different maybe not
I am
Here. still.
So.
Stupid or not..
I am.
For whatever reason.
Now my head hurts..
And I just hope this storm passes
Cuz
My tears might run out
Can't waste them all on you
Silly
If we both freak out before we even have scratched the surface..
It just
Might keep be this confusing
Won't it?
Oh and I do not dare just yet to find out the answer either
Cuz
It is going way to fast
Again
Stupid heart
Stupid mind
Just tell me that I am worthless then.
If you want me to stay..do it the other way. Not just make me feel this way. That there is something I want
But to rather
Truly push me away
And I'll walk away..
You are not making it any better really when you're just being so genuinly sweet and all
I just
It all just
Gets this way
And it's been a while..since I felt this way
Or at all.
In my healing process
I still get triggered
So that is what this is propably
Just
Something
That got triggered within me
Maybe it is not even you
Not even you that I need or want
Because it doesn't make any sense really why I would start to chase after someone that can't or don't want or just is confused.
It does not help.
If we are both unsure and this way
It sux
Your turn to write me a poem.
A real one this time.
Not with ai...
If you are going to break my heart, make it poethic atleast
Plz
Sry for the drama but this is just me expressing how I feel
The way I know how
If nothing else
I did get a poem out of it..
Or 3..
Fri vers (Fri form)
av Psychodolly
Publicerad 2025-09-01 17:45
sphinx
En text jag tolkar som att våga lita på sig själv och sina känslor. Texten inleds med en beskrivning av ångest som är drar in läsaren i texten. Sedan följer en lång vindlande väg om självtvivel och tvivel på andra och tvivel på allt. Men ändå en drivkraft att utforska vidare. Beskrivningarna ger texten liv. Så här är det för en del. Avslutningen plockar hem en finfin poäng. Gillas. Även om texten är lång, funkar den om man tar sig tiden och läser, kanske backar, läser om. Fördjupar, tänker till.
2025-09-01