Sweat is running
down my chest
as I enter the gates
of the unnamed road
I'm not dressed for
this humid heat
tattoos covered
by a long-sleeved
collared blouse
in satin
scars of the past,
engravings on my skin
hidden under
a maxi skirt with
a low-key slit
I join the chaos,
facing a line of
fifty mothers,
fifty wives
in a foreign language
they are crying out
they huff and they puff,
they shout and they scream
voices swell,
a cacophony of grief
With glimpses of hope,
they're hoping for a
glimpse
of a loved one dressed
in orange
so do I
I seek you out through
orange masses
you’re so close to me
yet three layers
of metal mesh away
I find you
I see you
your eyes meet mine
Your glance speak
but I can't hear you
through the noise
you look so sad
I feel you
but I can't touch you.
Here, I am the foreigner
here, I know no rules
no norms, nor words
but I am no stranger,
not to the guard
I don't know him
but he knows me
prior to this moment
our paths never crossed
luckily
he's met me a hundred
times before
The guard
keeps his mouth shut
he knows
there is nothing to say
I wouldn't understand
his words anyway
In a chaos like this
he needs to be loud,
loud enough to
outloud the
crowd
but we speak in silence
yet somehow am I
the only one here
who seem to catch
his attention
Not
because of the fact
I am white, young
and pretty
No,
in all my whiteness and
preppy clothes
I reveale the ace up my sleeve;
my only weapon
in here
is the fact I am
the only one in here
who can afford to speak
money
A language universal,
non-verbal
the only language
he bothers to hear
the only language
that matters
in here
I take a step back
and whisper your name
in his ear,
trying to look equally
important as I realize
you are to me
when I succesfully
wave my $50 bill
"Lawyer or friend?"
the first actual words
the guard utters
to me
I could've gone with lawyer;
it would've been a
half-way truth
but I was never a good liar
and in all my polished pretense,
I am frankly just
the friend of a junkie
before I reply,
is however
all I can think
a lawyer
would not bribe
his way through walls
for a hug
not even here
I don't know khmer
but I have spent
enough time in this country
to understand
that rule of law
does not apply
over here
there is no such thing
as aequalitas ante legem
in a dog-eat-dog world
it's all about
canis canem edit
And sometimes law is
just empty words
written down
in a redunant amount of
illegible paragraphs
You see,
'lawyer' has more than
one definition
in Cambodia,
the skill set of a lawyer
is very different from
everything
I was thaught in
law school
The guard
starts moving,
he gives me a sign
I can't read
but through the now
clearing crowds
I trail him,
imagine you
two walls away
being lead by someone,
somewhere
too
Fri vers av retzzzina
Publicerad 2024-12-08 03:10