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vintage: Does anyone think that this would work as a song lyric


t w w o y

forming the lines
taking my time
looking for words
that I've once heard
my life takes shape
and I start to feel safe
my breath is a measure
of the meter and the dance
and my eyes are a
receiver of the
wonderful world of you

the apache kid




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Läst 302 gånger och applåderad av 17 personer
Publicerad 2015-07-07 12:43



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  Olof Lagerhorn VIP
Yes, it has a good potential as song lyric!
The lines has a good melodic flow.
Can´t say though if the music should go fast or slow.
I agree with some of the other reviewers that a refrain might work well. The last three lines as Anna suggested, or mabye the four first?
The refrain and the base text could have different tempos?

2015-07-10

  Anna*
Yes it can work as a song lyric :)
Actually it can be used just as it is and the core are the last three lines that can be repeated between sets of two lines
at a time. If you like :)
2015-07-07

  i af apa
why not...?! med nåt, ja lite drömskt in between...
2015-07-07

    ej medlem längre
Blir jättefin som sångtext... Lägg gärna till en refräng...
2015-07-07

  Solitaire VIP
Absolut!
Men lite kort. Så, ska du fylla ut med fin musik, eller ta risken med någon liten drömsk textslinga?
Det vore ju synd att klampa in och störa de här vackra raderna liksom.
Prova, men var försiktig så du inte tappar essensen!
2015-07-07

    Jenny C
Yes, I think it would sound pretty good :)
2015-07-07
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